So many things have happened in life. Things just aren’t how they used to be anymore. My first-born niece is growing up into a young lady faster than grass. I used to be her best friend when she was younger and as a result she really looked up to me. Things are much different now. Whenever I visit their house we hardly hang out like we used to. Her interests have evolved and now she has her own little group of friends. I admit I feel kinda sad and even left out. I know that is pathetic for a 24 year old woman to say. I know my niece needs her own friends. Our interactions have become awkward and forced, and our conversations have grown shorter. She is coming closer the age where she must go on a journey of self-discovery and become her own person, apart from family. And I hope she grows well and learns how to be true to herself. But with that discovery comes less close interaction with me, her Aunt. Whereas she always wanted to be close by my side, she now awkwardly inches away from me, desiring her own personal space.
I guess I am just detaching from my view of her when she was younger… and it hurts. She isn’t a little girl anymore. It hasn’t really set in until about a year ago. It’s weird how someone can grow and change and you never really see it until one day you look at them and realize they aren’t the same anymore. It’s eye-opening and heartbreaking at the same time. The most bittersweet truth of life. Nothing — and nobody — is constant. I guess in the mundane trances of life we forget that people are aging. Children become teenagers, teenagers become adults, and adults become elderly. It’s the natural order of things. But I hate it. Why can’t things just stay the same? Soon my niece will grow into a teenager and struggle with puberty, friends, boys, and her parents. I will have a front row seat, watching as she blossoms into a woman. I only hope I can still be a part of her life when she needs me to.
And so the cycle continues with my other niece. She is four years old and full of nervous, excited energy that peaks whenever I am near. She is always dragging me down to the floor to play dolls with her while my older niece sits on the couch putting make-up on her friends. My younger niece begs for my attention and pulls me away from her sister and her friends, claiming me as her own special friend. She laughs hard at my corny antics and cheesy voice acting as we play Peppa Pig on the floor. I glance over at my older niece and feel a sense of loss. The years of having this special playtime interaction with her are long gone. No more will she pull on my shirt asking me to give her a piggyback ride. No more will she ask me to twist off a water bottle cap for her. No more will she beg me to play Barbies with her. That role has now been replaced by her younger sister, and I must once again cherish this special, short relationship while it lasts. Because one day the toddler sitting in front of me will grow up just like her sister, and she will no longer cling to my leg begging for one more time. One more minute. It will be over, and the magic will be gone.
